Coaching Corner ~ Depression
-Kimberlee Langford, RN BSN CCM CPC
So, I have to preface
this post with a disclaimer – I am not a psychologist or counsellor, so I am in
no way an expert here. BUT, as a nurse,
a mother, a wife and a friend – I have experienced depression myself, and have
been touched by it in every role in my life.
I have lost friends and family to suicide, and have fought hard for
people I love who have almost drowned in its depths and have thought about
resorting to suicide. It is so
important to be aware of the signs – in yourself and in others, to reach out
for help when needed, and to practice good self-care on a daily basis.
We all go through situations that are sad – times when we are
transiently sad – a sadness that surrounds a loss or a situation. That sadness doesn’t linger – but passes. CLINICAL depression is so tough, because it
doesn’t pass, and is more pervasive. It
can and often does progress and can cause people to think about or actually commit
suicide.
If you have a loved
one who is suffering with sadness and/or
depression – please know that YOU cannot make someone depressed. When people we love are depressed it’s easy
to wonder: ‘what did I do’ – ‘what’s wrong with me that is making him/her
depressed.’ It is too easy to blame yourself,
but please know that it is not you -- but that you can help. And if
you have any thought or fear or sign that they might want to hurt themselves,
or be thinking about hurting themselves – then it’s important to get help –
call your doctor, get them to the ER or even to call 911.
If you, yourself, are feeling
depressed – especially if you have any thoughts about hurting yourself – know that
you are not ‘bad’ or ‘broken’ – but that you need some professional help. You deserve to be happy – to be whole – not to
hurt. When we are depressed it is hard
to think straight. It affects not only
our mood, but our physiology – it dampens appetites, slows digestion and
circulation, decreases energy and stamina, dampens our immune system and
interferes with our ability to be productive and relate with others. It is an illness -- and there is treatment. You and / or your loved one CAN feel better
than you do right now!
Now, that being said – Let’s talk about self-care measures. When we focus on things that are in our
control, that’s where we have the greatest power!
Studies have shown that when we do the things we would do if we weren’t
depressed – like singing, dancing, exercise, dressing, eating healthy, ladies –
put on your makeup and do your hair! – When we do some of these things, which I’ll
be the first to say are hard to do when you’re feeling down, but when we do
these things, we actually see chemical shifts in those depression-related
hormones: serotonin, dopamine! – Pretty cool.
Personally, I find that when I get out of my head and focus on others –
I feel better. Service is like sandpaper
– it smoothes out the rough edges and makes our lives a little softer. Do something for someone else! Get out of your own head – and don’t go there
alone!
Years ago, when my brother was killed at 16 years old, depression swept
over me in a deep and pervasive way – put me in the ER with heart
palpitations. I was stationed in Boston
at the time and was active duty in the Coast Guard. I did begin counselling. I also found that I began some ‘therapeutic
shopping!’ – I loved going into KMART because people were so happy there – they
smiled at me and it was just a pleasant place to be. I actually applied for a job there – and when
the manager asked me why in the world I’d want to work there – being active
duty, I told her that I just wanted to learn to smile again and that her staff
always made me feel good when I walked in the store. I was hired on the spot! I
loved working there and had some amazing experiences there as I worked with
other staff and customers.
One of the reasons I love being a nurse is that I freak-out love to
help people. Focusing on others brings
out the best in us. Try to make someone
else’s day brighter. – Now these things
may not cure a clinical depression – but they can help. Please don’t delay reaching out to your
doctor or counsellor…. You created your tomorrow from the things you do today.
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