Letters home -

Jayson Langford Mon, Mar 4, 8:02 AM (1 day ago) Hey mom, theres a few things i wanted to share about what my thoughts have been recently and i didnt really want to put it on a big email. Think it may be good Kimberlee Langford 8:42 AM (1 hour ago) to Jayson Hey there buddy. -- Ahhhhh......grasshopper..... your faith is bigger than it feels right now. First off - I'm sending you a big, warm, mamma hug. Faith and belief are funny things -- you feel them when you feel them -- and doubt what you once knew - or hoped to know - when you don't. Faith is not a constant. It has to be carefully tended. It waxes and wanes -- and big or small..... clear or fuzzy ..... soft and squishy or rock solid ----- it's still there. I will say this - it's when we are most comfortable that we need to be the most careful. The fact that you are feeling small and uncertain tells me that you are in a space for growth. -- But you have to understand that this is very uncomfortable. It's supposed to be. Growth is not easy. Funny how connected you and I are. - I'm going to be very open and transparent with you in this email - so fair warning. YOU make me work to be better than I am. Because I've noticed that when I fumble and screw up -- so do you! -- funny how energy works like that. I work hard to be positive and strong, and to do the right things. sometimes it requires more energy and faith than I think I have. It's in times like that, that I REMEMBER how I once felt. And when I do, I remember- and the same feelings of the Spirit wash over me. I beg his forgiveness -- one more time. "help me to be better because I really do want to be good." We all have our personalities and struggles-- but one thing is the same -- that there are times that it's just .... hard. Sometimes I don't feel I have the energy to work out, to clean the house, to go to work -- etc.... but habit sees me through. You are going to have times when your spiritual energy is low, or you are frustrated, or don't understand why something is what it is -- or don't agree with a certain thing/principle/rule -- and yet your HABITS of prayer, study, temple attendance, taking care of yourself ... those HABITS will get you through. There is a spiritual and emotional cycle to all things. And as we overcome them -- we develop a skillset for overcoming that lends to faith and belief that we can get through the next obstacle..... and over the years you'll see you are not on a roller coaster of ups and downs.... it will be more like a rock - skipping across the lake. I believe so much in you! You are more magnificent than you realize -- just remember that we are only as magnificent as we are small....because in our 'smallness' - there is room for HIM. I love you - more than I can say. Love, Mom